"Finding a Nice Guy"

Can someone just b*tch slap me?  I am totally falling head-over-hills for a guy who just thinks of me as a friend.  Why can’t I just find a nice guy who doesn’t see me as just a friend?    I guess it is my fault since I am his co-worker (yeah, I am an idiot) and I don’t want to start anything with a co-worker so I gave off friend vibes.  I even tried setting him up with one of my friends because I didn’t really know him yet and I figured he was looking for a nice girl.  Little did I know that her attention was a fair weather friend.  Now, as I got to know him, I am falling deeper.  It makes me feel so insane!  I know that he is back with his ex and he is really into her, but damn it, why can’t I be that girl!

I think the reason why I am starting to feel so depressed and obsessed about this because I can’t get him out of my head.  I keep thinking of our interactions yesterday.  We were at a party yesterday and we talked about random things and he said things about how I don’t lead him on like my fair weather friend.  I get so confused by guys in general, but this guy confuses me the most because I have a personal stake – my heart – in the matter.

Word count: 237

Fails: 2

Fail and Sad News

I have another fail.  I only count one week as a fail.  Last week I gave myself the week off because my grandfather died.  I was not in any state to write about anything, let alone talk about my feelings.  Whenever I am hurt I tend to pull in my sad emotions and over compensate with happy.  I didn’t want to ooze this falseness on this blog.  I spent last week either trying not to cry or remembering good times.  I am not fully healed, but I am ready to start moving on to more lighthearted topics.  The next blog is about one of the last things my grandfather told me to do at Christmas as my grandmother chided him:  find a boy.

Word Count: 123

Fails: 2