Where is Home?

When I am asked, “where is home?” I never know what to answer.  Is home where I currently reside?  Is home where my parents live?  Is home where I grew up?  All these places hold different meanings to me and the asker of the question. 

Most of the time when people ask, “where is home?” they mean, “were do your parents live?”  Technically I haven’t lived with my parents for over four years, but that is where they assume I hold my ties with home.  Ask much as I love my parents, they are no longer my home. 

Some of the time when people ask, “where is home?” they mean “where did you grow up?”  That is a very complicated answer, since I spent the early part of my ‘growing up’ life in one city, the middle in a suburb and the last in the ‘city’ of the country.  Which answer do they want?  Would it be acceptable to say all three?

  Almost none of the time when I am asked, “where is home?” does the asker want were I currently live.  They don’t want the answer of where I have started my own journey separate from my parents and my childhood friends.  They assume that I hold no ties to this place, to this life.  I know it is a stepping stone to the next “great adventure”, but I have created a new family of friends here. 

I don’t want to go back “home” and try to be the person I once was.  Nothing is the same back “home”.  My childhood friends have moved on with their lives. My parents have redecorated my room.  All of my secret place I loved to hang out are either destroyed or taken over by the next generation.  I don’t want to move back in time or place as I am asked to every time someone who asks “where is home?” and expecting my answer to be a past place wants.   I want to live here, make mistakes here and call here home.

Word Count: 340

Fails: 1

Ramblings of a lazy day

It feels like forever since I posted my last blog.   I think that is just because this last week has been a whorl wind of activity between spring break, being called into work when I had a “week off”, and my birthday.  I think the only calm day was Tuesday and that was because I only went to one friend’s house after class.  I would say today calls for one of those days that you don’t get out of your jammies and laze about, but I already my a commitment to one of my besties to make a video for our youtube channel, and I don’t want the internet to see me in my jammies.  Well, I still have some time because I have to charge the batteries to my camera before I can post a video. 

The weather this week has been crazy.  It is windy and rainy and not spring like at all. :D  I think it may even be flooding back home.  Still need to call the mom’s to find out if it is flooding in town or just across the lake.  Well, I will post this and go do that now.

Word count: 195

Fails: 1

An Update

Happy St. Patty’s Day everyone!  Just another holiday that America slinked its claws into and warped it to sell more useless products.

Now to stop being cynical, I am going to give you an update on my goals.  So my first and for most goal is to get healthy.  I have been doing better on it, eating less/healthier by adding fruit and veggies in my diet and reducing soda.  These last few weeks I have been slipping back into bad habits, but I have renewed my efforts to be better about it.  I think I started to slip because I was getting very busy at work and school, but it didn’t make me feel any better.  Actually it made me feel worst.  Back to turkey sammiches and water/power-aid again for lunch at work – not the tastiest but it leaves me feeling the best.  I also have been failing on going to the gym.  By the time I get home I am so tired and I was slowly waking up earlier to go to the gym before work and then stupid daylights saving hit and now I have to slowly wake up earlier again.

On the blog front: I have only failed once, which isn’t good, but it is better than completely stopping.  I have added a new rule: for every blog I miss, I must make it up the next week I post blogs.  Hopefully I won’t have to do that again.

Word count: 242

Fails: 1

Weight: 220 lbs

He's Just NOT that into you

Time for a blog as I throw myself a pity party and watch “He’s just not that into you”.

I have been feeling low about my love life (or the lack there of) ever since hanging out with one of my friends.  She is the one here that I currently have guy chat with since my friend from home is never on aim when I am.  She currently has eight guys all chasing her.   Since I know a few of the guys, I know they all want her.  Yes, she is beautiful, but eight guys?!?  I can’t even turn the head of one guy that I like.  It’s even more depressing….

Class Break

I think where I was heading with that was that when I talk guy chat with her I find it hard to talk about my feelings because she has never felt the burn of rejection.  She is the one rejecting all the guys and giving them the just friend’s line, not the one receiving it.  I don’t know if it is me giving off the wrong signals or if it is just me going after guys that are not into me because I know it is safe and I will get rejected so I won’t have to put myself out there to experience real feelings instead of just surface like.   It makes it so hard to find a guy when I don’t want causal flings.

This movie makes me sad because I know that he really isn’t into me, but I know that I will be one guys exception one day. Hopefully  I will an Alex’s Gigi one day.

Word Count: 272

Fails: 1

Worries of a pet parent (ie, my ratty isn't doing well)

My second post of the week to keep my promise.  I hope it is the same week.  It has just been one of those days.  Well months actually.   I have just got done with a busy week, but hopefully I will make bank.  Not only have I been busy with class and work like usual, my poor baby isn’t doing well.   

This poor baby being my 2.25 year old rat.  I know that he is close to the end, but I feel sad especially when he went down-hill so quickly.  He starting to get hind leg paralysis and so he has trouble getting around the cage.  Then one night he was eating his food happily and the next he is passed out on his cage floor.  Luckily we had applesauce and my roomie had a syringe and we could stuff him full of applesauce to bring his blood sugar and fat reserves back up.  Today he even got to spend time with his brother because we felt he was doing good enough to deal with being stepped on.  Now that I have gushed my good news, I am going to go to sleep!

Word Count: 193

Fails: 1